Sleep Sickness

The world inside my head is so entrancing and addicting. Why face the real world when I can control the one in my head? But have you ever slept in really late only to realize you are tired when you wake up? That's how it is with me.

I'm so sick of sleeping (figuratively, still a big fan of the literal). The world in my head is either in conflict with the world around me or dangerously aligned with it. I want so much to wake up but I'm so tired.

You see, I know what needs to be done. I need and want to perceive the world through His eyes, to dream His dreams, to think His thoughts. But it's not going to be easy. But this I know, He has given me everything I need pertaining to life and godliness though our knowledge of Him who called me by His own glory and goodness. He will not let my foot slip, he who watches over me will not slumber. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my God; I am His.

Growing Pains

I have learned, or rather realized, that I am no longer a child that I should rely on my parents or peers for guidance in my physical or spiritual life. Two thing have made me realized this. First, my B-i-C Whit and Josh put together an event called Do Something 2010. I was secretly dreading going to the event because I knew God would move in me and I was pretty sure in which direction. I have been so fed up with my life of complacent stagnation but so fearful of stepping out. I was afraid because I knew I couldn’t be guided or lead by my peers but only by my walk with God. Essentially, I was wrecked with doubt.

During prayer at the event, a woman came up to me and asked me if she could pray for me and what I needed. All I could respond with was “I don’t know.” The word from God that she gave me was [paraphrase] “you know Him, walk with Him.” One of the doubts I have been having is ‘do I really know Him’. But this revelation didn’t hit until something else happened.

Secondly, about a week or two ago, I got into yet another fight with my dad. The fight was nothing big, but it was a catalysis for me. This is what I wrote while in the aftermath:

I am in chaos, I’m ripping myself apart. All I want is to be seen, to be heard, to be loved. Why can’t they love me?

Put not your strength in man, for man alone will only fail. Ask first for God’s love so that you may have love eternal, then you can give it to the nations.

I was looking to everyone but God for love, and I don’t think I entirely realized it until now. I have been ripping myself apart because without God there is chaos. No matter how much my parents (or anyone else) love me, they can't love me as much as God can. Seek God first and all these thing shall be added to you.

Growing has a tendency to be rather painful. I have caught the revelation that I know God and can walk with Him, trusting Him for all my needs. I don’t have to rely on others for guidance but I have been everything I need for life and godliness. Now I must choose to use it. No can make this decision for me.

Lost Note 2

The dawn is breaking. The night has been so long, and I am so tired. They have worn me down. I have not always stayed on the right path. My burdens are so heavy; they say that it will never end. When one trouble seems to fall away, another greater one takes its place. Were it not for my faithful friends who call me back, I would have been lost.
But God is good, He is kind and loving. My life is nothing to me. He has made me to be a new creature. He has given me His awesome power. Ask and it will be done; Knock and it will be opened. When I do His will, nothing can stand in my way. I am not one of the walking dead; I have life eternal. My burdens are no more.
How can I who am alive live with the dead? But how can I leave? If I who was once dead am now alive, they also can become alive. “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things that these because I am going to the Father.”(John 14: 12) Christ raised the dead. He made what was dead become alive. He asks me to do nothing but what He has already done.

Do Something!

Hey!

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Hey!

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Wake up.
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Wake up!

Why do you sleep?
The world will not disappear because you ignore it. The problems will not fix themselves. So many are asleep, so many are leaving, the problems are growing.
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Wake Up!

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Can’t you hear them? Can’t you hear their cries for help?
Help them!
What do you mean you don’t know how!
You have what can fix the problem, why don’t you know how to use it?!

WAKE UP!!!

DO SOMETHING!!!

Lost Note 1

The Night is so dark. Fire in the distance. I want the fire. I need the fire. I know the fire. But the flourescence are so blinding. They call to me. Come, our light is bright; our caves are warm; come see our treasures that lie with in. In thier caves were halls of diamonds and saphires. From deep withing came music like nothing the stars had ever made. The rythm took hold and drew me in. I became lost in it. It was my only though. The rythm.

Dance with us, child. We will teach you the rythm. See how the others move. Watch how they show thier love. Listen to thier words. Learn thier speach, know thier dance. When like them you become. You will be part of the rythm.

A whisper broke in. Annoying. Breaks the rythm. Can't be good. But persistant. Remember. Remember. You walked on silk grass, danced beneath the oaks, drank from sweet rivers. The stars sang to you, the sun danced with you, the winds laughed with you. Where have you gone, child of mine? Come back to me. Come once again and sing that song you loved so much.

Psalm 15

Psalm 15
LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?

Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless

and who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,

who does his neighbor no wrong

and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man

but honors those who fear the LORD,

who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury

and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken.

Everyone has a code of ethics/conduct/honor that they choose to live by. They determine their actions based on this code. The Knights of legends were considered to be great because of their Code. Many of our well-known historical and fictional characters lived by codes that differentiated themselves from the masses.
This psalm is a basic code to live by. My question to you and to myself is: What code to you live by? What do you base your code on? Does your code make you more of a person or just one of the masses?

I also wanted to put Brandon Heath's "Give me your eyes" music video, but embedding was disabled